Fear has dominated nearly my entire life.
It goes back as far as I can remember, to being afraid of the dark, and afraid of water, and afraid of letting our neighbor toss me in the air over his head and then catch me as he did with all the children on the block, and afraid of getting beat up at grade school.
Then it was being afraid of not knowing the right answer at school, or being ridiculed by classmates or turned down when I asked a girl for a date.
Eventually, it just settled into two categories – fear of failure and fear of rejection.
Of course, those two categories pretty much encompass all of life. Over the years, those fears paved the way to alcoholism and also helped me to be a spectacular failure as a husband and as a father (although God miraculously granted me a second chance, but that’s a story for another day).
You could say that I was afraid of pretty much everything. That even included success, since success – however defined – couldn’t possibly last forever. For someone like me, that’s an enormously horrifying thought.
After many years, and much pain inflicted on myself and others, I began to comprehend an important – and very unfamiliar – truth: Fear and God’s love for us do not, and cannot, co-exist. It’s right there in the Bible: There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (1 John 4:18)
I have experienced the peace and freedom from fear that comes from God’s perfect love.
But I do not love perfectly, far from it. By nature I am selfish, judgmental and prone to condemning others and justifying my behavior.
Jesus modeled his love for us just before giving himself up to an excruciating death for our sake. He washed the feet of his disciples, a very menial and disgusting chore. He washed not only the feet of his closest friends and confidants, but also the feet of the one who he already knew would betray him into death.
And then he explained the significance of his actions:
“Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you … Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” (John 13:14-15, 17)
I have been blessed by God’s love and by his love demonstrated by others, but still I struggle to love as Jesus did – humbly, completely, unconditionally.
In my dear friend Kevin Hawkins, I have a man who models that love for me. I watch Hawk serve others, engage the lonely, proclaim the love and compassion of Jesus and then walk that talk. It inspires me, it convicts me, it motivates me and it encourages me.
This is Jesus’ plan for bringing us to his Father – loving one another as he loved us.
And so I immediately and enthusiastically accepted the invitation from Kevin and his godly wife Karen to lock shields with them – to try to live up to Jesus’ impossible standard of love.
Watching Kevin love others is essential to my own transformation. Watching Kevin, there is only love, no fear. No fear of rejection, no fear that he can’t answer every question or meet every need. Just love. Just washing people’s feet.
I see it, I recognize it as the love of Jesus and I can try to imitate it. This is what Paul had in mind when he boldly said, “Be imitators of me as I am of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1)
It is my fervent hope and prayer that through this blog, many people will recognize Jesus’ love in Kevin’s life and will be moved by the Holy Spirit to love similarly – as Jesus modeled. But I know for sure that I will grow in Christlikeness by declaring my intention to love as Kevin and Jesus do – radically, sacrificially and unconditionally.
Peace and love to all,
Craig
Life With Love 